Rico Amore Presents

ToMas, only because I said I would - not because I'm gloating or that I think it will ever happen again. It was shaping up to be a great day anyway. I was done with school for the week; I got home and the dogs weren't exploded so I let them out. I felt good about the prospect of playing a little December tennis since it was almost 60 degrees and sunny at 3:30. My playing partner is a nut for tennis like I am for golf. Hours spent discussing the nuances of the trajectories of spheres constitutes a temporary heaven. He is much a better player than I am; he has hit more balls and taken more lessons than I ever have. He is the coach of both tennis teams at a large high school, so he was obviously looking forward to kicking my ass up and down the court. The first glimmer of hope came when I held my serve leveling the score to one-one. Then I broke, 2-1, then I held again, 3-1, he held, 3-2, I broke again, 4-2, held again, 5-2, he held, 5-3 and I had a chance to serve out for the win...

The following story features a guy who beats his kid for not playing video games. You can't make this up - but you can post you best jokes about the kid or the loser.

This is a real "cut-and-paste" from my hometown newspaper. I should also tell you that Mr. W. Squires is a former student of mine. I should have spent more time on eluding and less time on elucidating, and perhaps he would have had his schnapps (he clearly doesn't know what he could have had with a little red wine and coke). CRIME BEAT Dad suspected of beating son, 7, for refusing to play video game By PATRICK MALONE and NICK BONHAMTHE PUEBLO CHIEFTAIN A Pueblo father is in jail for allegedly beating his 7-year-old son with a belt for refusing to play a video game with him. Markus Ellsworth French, 27, was arrested Monday on suspicion of intimidating a victim or witness, domestic violence, two counts of child abuse and menacing with a deadly weapon. Last week, personnel at French's son's school and a school resource officer questioned the boy about bruises on his legs and chest. The boy said he had run into a branch at a park, according to a report by Pueblo polic...