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Showing posts from September, 2007

They were high at the time - and it was a REALLY GOOD tortilla

*****REAL STORY from my beloved home town********** Tortilla spat lands woman in jail A family disagreement over who ate the last tortilla in the house landed a Pueblo woman in jail on Tuesday. Police responded to the 1300 block of East Evans Avenue at 4:25 p.m. after getting a report of a woman yelling for help there, according to a report by Pueblo police officer Nick Martinez. When officers arrived, they discovered that an 18-year-old woman and her 49-year-old aunt had calmed down since the disturbance. They both admitted they had been in a physical altercation “over taking the last tortilla.” The 18-year-old was wanted on an unrelated warrant. When police said she was under arrest, she had a panic attack. She was taken by ambulance to St. Mary-Corwin Medical Center, where she was treated and released into police custody. Neither woman wanted to pursue charges against the other over the incident. *****doesn't everyone have a warrant out for their arrest? Damn Patriot Act!*******

Why don't

we use the word "swang" for the past tense of swing? cuz you and all yur fancy airs don't add up to nuthin - that's why

How To

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Properly duct tape your dog. Step one: You need a reason to duct tape your dog, and because I want to isn't sufficient. Ok - any reason is prolly good enough to duct tape the mutt. Fukin tape away! Huzzah! Step two: After finding a "reason", (ours was the dog was leaking after a botched surgery to remove a benign fatty mass - we super glued him first, which would have worked but the glue broke apart leaving sharp-edged, chunks of super glue matted with black hair. The vet thought a 80 pound lab would be ok with a few stitches - what a tard.) where was I? oh yeah - get some tape and cut it into sections that make a nice big square around the reason. Step three: Mix a salve of vitamin E and some type of healing ointment. Apply the salve to a thick pad of gauze and stick to the underside of the taped square. Step four: Apply the square to the dog. This is the most fun part. The over sized square isn't just for looks, it allows the tape to stick to plenty of dog fur, whic

It has been a long

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fucking time since my last post. I guess I was in awe of the Spree. But now beeyatches, I am reminded of something new to be in awe of Ted Mutha Fukin Nugent Yes people - that's what it is "You got to kill it before you can grill it" The man is the true embodiment of what it means to live out the American Dream. "This is what I do 365 - This guitar is what I do 365, this bow and arrow is what I do 365" "Do you feel it?" "You feel that shit" That's when I screamed out from my second row seat - "Yes, I feel that shit!" Highlights of the show include Journey to the center..., Cat Scratch..., Stranglehold, Great White Buffalo, Free for all, and his tribute to all of his "soul brothas." So now you know - If you don't like The Nuge - you ain't shit. Anything else going on? No - I have been busy as all get out with school and coaching golf. I have a myspace page that I haven't looked at since July. Max has his d