Rico Amore Presents

Fuck I hope swearing doesn't offend you! Hi there - I am offically scrapping the plans to hobo to Oregone - fuck getting stabbed! I wasn't too keen on shoving ten dollar bills up may ass either. Anyhoo - my shit is goin to mutherfuckin Bonnaroo That's right -- Dude, The Police are cool and everyting, but come'on , you know everyone just wants to see Sting - he's approaching the living god status - like Bowie or Tiger. Who cares anyway? The Main Event is Fucking TOOL! Driving 18 hours to see Tool might sound crazy but it's not just Tool, The Flaming Lips, Ween, Manu Chao, Gogol Bordello, Dave Atell, well here's the whole line up The Police • Tool • Widespread Panic • The White Stripes • Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals • Wilco • The Flaming Lips • MANU CHAO Radio Bemba Sound System • The String Cheese Incident • Franz Ferdinand • Bob Weir & Ratdog • Damien Rice • Ween • Gov't Mule • Ziggy Marley • The Decemberists • Kings of Leo...

I guess I don't know how to post a vid from u-tube click here from some freaky shit

Part two on the socio-cultural experiment of adding a nationality to an everyday item. or From the same mind that brought you the Mexican Toothbrush and a dog who talks to flies comes the round poop and the German tamale. The nationality plus common item - expressed thusly {(N) ~c} x I is now applicable to food stuffs. Make way for the German Tamale the Swedish Pickle the Croatian Kabob the Polish Creme Puff the anyway, create your own while noticing the different connotations each country brings to the food. Now, the round poop. I must tell you, without even a smirk of a hint of a lie, I am not shitting you - literally and figuratively - what follows is pure Colombian Truth. Awhile back, I was at school; it was a good day, no kids. I had the feeling that it would be totally uneventful, everything A - O - K. Coffee worked like it always did, with alacrity. Suddenly, Max is fartin' up a storm - I think we might have to take him to the vet

I can always count on my friend KS to be a good source of reality. Long thought of as a misanthrope, and rightly so, he never seemed to be totally on the same thought plane as me, but now I'm not no sure. I was out one fine evening when it dawned on me that I can't make small talk for shit. If it's not that important, I prefer that people keep their fuckin pieholes shut. Well, on said evening I was forced to make some small talk and do you know where it got me. A long walk home on a sub-zero night while two people DROVE home in their cars right past me. I must admit that I wasn't alone. Good ol' JM was there to share my misery. Basically, it came down to my inability to talk about "The OC," the mall, anything to do with a fraternity/sorority, or Paris Hilton. On a brighter note, golf season will soon start. So the two brain dead shoeboxes of meat can kiss my ass. Fuck

Actually, many updates. First, red wine and coke in equal parts is offically called a Calimocho . And, I might add, it's fucking A delicious. Second is the summer hoboing plans. A hobo from the latin homo bonus or good man, is vastly different from a tramp, a bum, or a drifter. A drifter usually has the skills to get a quick job drift around a town for a spell and then move on. A tramp is similar to a hobo in the way each hops trains to move from place to place but usually tramps stay in one place longer. Bums are the worst of the bunch, they're lazy, dishonest, and usually dangerous, operating with no regard for themselves, others, or their surroundings. Hobos are the most intelligent, safest, and best mannered of the bunch. Hobos often elect their own rulers (the Hobo King and Queen) and have some form of artistic talent. Anyway, the plan is to hobo from colorado to oregeon this june or july. I have some serious concerns ( like getting stabbed in the gut with a shiv by a bum ...

Living in Colorado and New York has given me a unique opportunity to see two vastly different educational systems. The private prep schools of the east coast are undoubtedly the finest examples of pedagogy , while many schools in America's Midwest are mediocre at best. Now an article in the Grey Lady reports on a new trend of Uber students termed " Zoomers " (I know, what a gay-ass name) that enter the nation's elite colleges at levels of preparedness well beyond what anyone I know ever came close to having. The sad part is the section of students I see the most of are on the other end of the brainiac scale. Sure some of them are smart, but many are academic weaklings who, when faced with serious, real-life job competition , stand no chance. The extended play of this little story is witnessed when these people grow up and become mediocre adults. I'm sure you know the type, the coulda'beens, the almost was's, the 32-year-old high school English teachers...

ToMas, only because I said I would - not because I'm gloating or that I think it will ever happen again. It was shaping up to be a great day anyway. I was done with school for the week; I got home and the dogs weren't exploded so I let them out. I felt good about the prospect of playing a little December tennis since it was almost 60 degrees and sunny at 3:30. My playing partner is a nut for tennis like I am for golf. Hours spent discussing the nuances of the trajectories of spheres constitutes a temporary heaven. He is much a better player than I am; he has hit more balls and taken more lessons than I ever have. He is the coach of both tennis teams at a large high school, so he was obviously looking forward to kicking my ass up and down the court. The first glimmer of hope came when I held my serve leveling the score to one-one. Then I broke, 2-1, then I held again, 3-1, he held, 3-2, I broke again, 4-2, held again, 5-2, he held, 5-3 and I had a chance to serve out for the win...