ok

getting kinda weird - like i had de ja vu from about 10 years ago and am just now remembering it - fuck some strange shit but in a good whey  - i mean weigh
any way
it's a good place to be but i get despondent at times and then negative and then some intense hatred for certain nouns but it never lasts long and then i think if it ever got too too bad i could still deal but mostly it's an interesting peacefulness which is helped by the presence of tinkerbell
sometimes the restlessness won't subside and i need to get out
like the whole brazil thing
it would be about a grand but fuck it i have money and my stocks are coming up and i can sell plasma and if i decide to not go then fuck it too
 i can
play golf and 
drink beer
and wait to start the season again
and how long can that last?
fuck the gre - i'm ready to go in a week and i hope i don't totally bomb the fucking math section
that shit is hard - i mean i can divide by pi and shit but fuck
but now for the really serious shit
some fucking champagne and St. Germain
if you don't know
it's elderflower which is about a gazillion times better than hobo sauce
it's better than fucking
it's better than being alive
it's like being in love for that first three month stretch where you still hide your nastiness and just want to cuddle and kiss and hold hands and smile about it for days and think about the future and have that person embody all the perfection in the universe taking you with them on a magical trip to venus while being naked and secure the whole time never thinking a negative thought while your brain is flooded in pure ecstasy
yeah
it's like that only better  

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