Bro
Have you ever seen the E True Hollywood Story about the lottery winners?
It's called the Curse of the Lottery - you can probably guess the story, a redneck wins a million dollars and spends it all at Hooters in one night, leaving the waitress a hundred thou for a tip. Or the goody goody christian who wins and moves to Vegas to live with his porn star girlfriend then overdoses on meth while being whipped by midgets on a pile of thousand dollar bills the whole time listening to Gregorian chants played backwards. Then there's the girl who hits the big one, leaves her husband and ten kids, moves to Mexico, gets swindled out of her money by her pool boy's mafia brother and has to sell her self on the streets of Chihuahua and ends up drowning in a puddle of vomit.
So now that you have that image - let me tell you what I would do if'n I won the lotto!
I would never wear the same socks or underwear more than once.
I would start my own basketball team with the requirement that you had to have a criminal record to play and the worse the offense - the more playing time you got, even the coaches, assistants, water boys, everyone would have a face full of tattoo tears - except we would all be converted to Islam and repent our crimes and have cool Muslim names.
I would only drink champagne.
I would start my own militia and have them burn all the Walmarts in the world.
I would be the largest single contributor to my former high school on the grounds that they change their name to Riley High and all students would be forced to learn Latin.
Further - the band Sound Check would be a reality, only now we're talkin a fukin hundred piece orchestra and a whole ensemble of people who played the fukin crystal water glasses where they rub the tip of their fingers on the rims an shit.
I would become a church for the tax exempt status - let us pray - to my johnson!
I would buy the biggest crack rock you've ever seen - yee haw!
Oh, and I would give all my friend and relatives tee shirts that said "My bro won the lottery and all I got was this lousy shirt and $25,000.00!"
It's called the Curse of the Lottery - you can probably guess the story, a redneck wins a million dollars and spends it all at Hooters in one night, leaving the waitress a hundred thou for a tip. Or the goody goody christian who wins and moves to Vegas to live with his porn star girlfriend then overdoses on meth while being whipped by midgets on a pile of thousand dollar bills the whole time listening to Gregorian chants played backwards. Then there's the girl who hits the big one, leaves her husband and ten kids, moves to Mexico, gets swindled out of her money by her pool boy's mafia brother and has to sell her self on the streets of Chihuahua and ends up drowning in a puddle of vomit.
So now that you have that image - let me tell you what I would do if'n I won the lotto!
I would never wear the same socks or underwear more than once.
I would start my own basketball team with the requirement that you had to have a criminal record to play and the worse the offense - the more playing time you got, even the coaches, assistants, water boys, everyone would have a face full of tattoo tears - except we would all be converted to Islam and repent our crimes and have cool Muslim names.
I would only drink champagne.
I would start my own militia and have them burn all the Walmarts in the world.
I would be the largest single contributor to my former high school on the grounds that they change their name to Riley High and all students would be forced to learn Latin.
Further - the band Sound Check would be a reality, only now we're talkin a fukin hundred piece orchestra and a whole ensemble of people who played the fukin crystal water glasses where they rub the tip of their fingers on the rims an shit.
I would become a church for the tax exempt status - let us pray - to my johnson!
I would buy the biggest crack rock you've ever seen - yee haw!
Oh, and I would give all my friend and relatives tee shirts that said "My bro won the lottery and all I got was this lousy shirt and $25,000.00!"
Some snots should not be made in to turds, some turds should not be made in to snots, some made in snots not snots should too.
ReplyDeletePS. Nice links.