This blog is ten years old

holy shit
thats a long time for a electronic repository of what could be argued is mostly unreadable garbage but may as well keep it going

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Idiots

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Forgive me for inventing the "Blog." So many people (not me of course, or the bug, or some other people - but you know, most people ) have such shitty blogs that I now fear the wrath of a million sinning wannabe "writers" who think people give a fuck about what happened to them at the "Walmarts," or how their dog talks to flies, or overbearing spouses, or people who use too many commas. Now that my invention is completely out of control, I have to go around the world poking peoples' eyes out whilst simultaneously cutting off their fingers to prevent the further corruption of my invention . Please stand by for eye-poking-outing and finger-chopping-offing. If you don't see me in the next 48 hours, please cut your own fingers off, AFTER poking out your own eyes. Please people, this is important, if you cut your fingers off first, the poking of the eyes will be extremely difficult. Until then, there is a slight chance of redemption . If you must keep
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Summer is here

That means it's time for some serious medical information. Do you suffer from SBS ? Millions do, you could be one of them! SBS , or Sweaty Ball Syndrome , affects many unsuspecting men every summer . As the temperature rises, so do the chances that YOU could get SBS . "Last year, I got SBS so bad I couldn't even walk," claims Tad Fresher, a local man employed as the photo-finish operator at the turtle races. What can be done? you're wondering. Not much - as it is, even in the cooler months, men are afflicted with SBS . With the rise in temperature, it's inevitable that more will suffer. "My balls sweat - period, day or night, hot weather be dammed, they frikkin sweat year-round" exclaimed Feelmi SacDuWrink , an exchange student finishing his undergrad in Digital Environmental Bio-fusion.
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I love this town

This is a real "cut-and-paste" from my hometown newspaper. I should also tell you that Mr. W. Squires is a former student of mine. I should have spent more time on eluding and less time on elucidating, and perhaps he would have had his schnapps (he clearly doesn't know what he could have had with a little red wine and coke). CRIME BEAT Dad suspected of beating son, 7, for refusing to play video game By PATRICK MALONE and NICK BONHAMTHE PUEBLO CHIEFTAIN A Pueblo father is in jail for allegedly beating his 7-year-old son with a belt for refusing to play a video game with him. Markus Ellsworth French, 27, was arrested Monday on suspicion of intimidating a victim or witness, domestic violence, two counts of child abuse and menacing with a deadly weapon. Last week, personnel at French's son's school and a school resource officer questioned the boy about bruises on his legs and chest. The boy said he had run into a branch at a park, according to a report by Pueblo polic
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