Dear Loser

To Anonymous,
Grow some balls and revel yourself if you're going to post "consumer whore" on this here blog.
Also, the irony is you have a computer if you're reading this shit and you have Internet access, so I guess you're also a consumer whore. Do you live in a hut that you built yourself? On Walden pond? In Concord? You fucking hypocrite. Do you eat only food you grow yourself? I thought not. Hop in your Land Cruiser and go buy a pound of used clothes at the Goodwill and shut the fuck up.  

Meanwhile, I'll go to Starbucks and have a Venti Mocha.

ps
Thanks for giving me something to rant about.

Comments

  1. BugMay 10, 2008 at 4:01 PM

    Don't fret, Riley. It's all relative. I mean, consider Puff Daddy (a Puff by any other name...), whose party invitations instruct that you must wear designer clothing to be admitted.

    I know this because I read it in the People magazine that I bought after seeing the story on Entertainment Tonight and verifying it on the TMZ website, right before I put my chihuahua in my purse and headed out in my Hummer (H2) to buy some new Uggs to wear to the mall so I could shop for a younger, smaller chihuahua comfortably and stylishly.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Idiots

Image
Forgive me for inventing the "Blog." So many people (not me of course, or the bug, or some other people - but you know, most people ) have such shitty blogs that I now fear the wrath of a million sinning wannabe "writers" who think people give a fuck about what happened to them at the "Walmarts," or how their dog talks to flies, or overbearing spouses, or people who use too many commas. Now that my invention is completely out of control, I have to go around the world poking peoples' eyes out whilst simultaneously cutting off their fingers to prevent the further corruption of my invention . Please stand by for eye-poking-outing and finger-chopping-offing. If you don't see me in the next 48 hours, please cut your own fingers off, AFTER poking out your own eyes. Please people, this is important, if you cut your fingers off first, the poking of the eyes will be extremely difficult. Until then, there is a slight chance of redemption . If you must keep...
Read more

Summer is here

That means it's time for some serious medical information. Do you suffer from SBS ? Millions do, you could be one of them! SBS , or Sweaty Ball Syndrome , affects many unsuspecting men every summer . As the temperature rises, so do the chances that YOU could get SBS . "Last year, I got SBS so bad I couldn't even walk," claims Tad Fresher, a local man employed as the photo-finish operator at the turtle races. What can be done? you're wondering. Not much - as it is, even in the cooler months, men are afflicted with SBS . With the rise in temperature, it's inevitable that more will suffer. "My balls sweat - period, day or night, hot weather be dammed, they frikkin sweat year-round" exclaimed Feelmi SacDuWrink , an exchange student finishing his undergrad in Digital Environmental Bio-fusion.
Read more

Things I Might

Say to you if we lived together. I "accidentally" peed on your toothbrush What cake? I didn't think it was that dirty I'll do it later No, you're welcome Come on, just the tip What, oh - just kidding about the "tip" bit Let me check my schedule, um, NO I feel like some muthfukin Taco-Bell You didn't know I was a nudist?
Read more