Insert title here (instead of your ass)


Now is where (or "when" you picky fuckers) I go on and on about how the summer flew by and I didn't do shit. 

Those of you who have to work all the time - otherwise known as chumps - will give me no quarter but who cares? I mean whom cares?

Ok, so I did some writing, not just for this piece of shit blog, but for a legit paper that those cool kids know about and read and love and... But other than play in the city tourney, and teach a creative writing class, work a wine festival in Paonia, spank it, and invent the internet, I didn't do shit. 

Not that I didn't want to be more productive, but I feel that the Earth's gravitational pull is especially strong in my ass. In fact, right now I have a team of scientists studying the phenomena. They are calling it "Culo Magnetico" - (yes they're Mexican scientists, you fucking racists). 

Sure, I discussed the coming armageddon, but seriously, who didn't? 

So I know you're all on the edge of you folding chairs right now wondering what on Earth Riley did all freaking summer. Well, it wasn't pretty.


That's me in my underwear, 
that's me with a bunch of empty PBR's
that's me face down on the couch,
that's me standing in the middle of the room wondering why I would need to move from this spot because there is nothing there for me in front of me or behind me - the tv is on there is music coming out of the 'puter, there are dirty dishes that need washing and clothes all over and yet I stand in the middle of the floor because WHY why fucking move?

The need for the structure of school has never been stronger. 
The need to be forced to action confronts the need to be ambitious. 

Who will win?

Ambition has minor victories, like taking a shower and brushing my teeth. 
But even ambition gets perverted when it sees beer commercials. 

Beer commercials actually request that people drink all the time - "Please Drink! responsibly"
Still the message is "please drink," like the stupid Carl's Jr. commercials that are so effective that I actually weigh more than 350 pounds right now.

Ambition becomes so perverted that it turns into the ambition to be lazy! That's right people, that's how ambitious I am.





Comments

  1. BugJuly 10, 2008 at 10:20 AM

    http://www.explodingdog.com/dumbpict51/pleasedrinkresponsibly.jpg

    ReplyDelete

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