I try not to curse
but fuck - this is so funny. If you don't know about uncyclopedia then you are basically wasting your life.
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The joke that never gets old
Wass'up Star Trek fans - take a break from arranging your Pokemon cards to read this: Scientists have discovered Klingons on Uranus.
Idiots
Forgive me for inventing the "Blog." So many people (not me of course, or the bug, or some other people - but you know, most people ) have such shitty blogs that I now fear the wrath of a million sinning wannabe "writers" who think people give a fuck about what happened to them at the "Walmarts," or how their dog talks to flies, or overbearing spouses, or people who use too many commas. Now that my invention is completely out of control, I have to go around the world poking peoples' eyes out whilst simultaneously cutting off their fingers to prevent the further corruption of my invention . Please stand by for eye-poking-outing and finger-chopping-offing. If you don't see me in the next 48 hours, please cut your own fingers off, AFTER poking out your own eyes. Please people, this is important, if you cut your fingers off first, the poking of the eyes will be extremely difficult. Until then, there is a slight chance of redemption . If you must keep...
Max Learns to Talk
It was so hot today - it was so hot today that I threw a ball in the yard and told Max, "go get it," and he looked and me and said, "F that crap," and went inside.
That's right - I saw The Lips!
This past Saturday the sounds and sights of the Flaming Lips surrounded me. Waves of energy penetrated my ear holes and now I can say, "I"ve seen The Lips." Fuck Yeah - I was so sweet. The best venue, Red Rocks , was rockin' out to an awesome show that had Wayne in a giant bubble that went into the crowd, a dozen people dressed as Santa, a dozen people dressed as elves with martian masks on, all their roadies were dressed as super heros (the Flash, Thor, Wonder Woman, Captian America, and some other dude) - and as if it couldn't get any better... the last song of the night was War Pigs !!! Fuck, I just can't say fuck enough. And now - for the greatest saying "Fuck" moment yet - Get ready... OK... Are you ready... Sure now... I am going to see Tool in Fucking Las Fucking Vegas Oh Fuck Yes, yes, yes, yes!!!! That's right fools - the most humble chiconky in Colorado is going to Vegas to get my Tool on. In yo' face, bee-yatch!
